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Sunday, October 02, 2005
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umm..
you know how there's some people in your life that mean a LOT to you..and then others that have a pretty pointless place in your life? i kinda do. i don't completely hate someone, not COMPLETELY and i'm going to cut back on that anyways. i definitely love a lot..i'd take a bullet for each one of them. and the main thing that's bothering me...well, i can't post it on an entry cause people would think i'm some sort of whore. but has anyone ever maybe..judged you as having more than what you have? and god knows, maybe i do have it, but then..shouldn't it get me..satisfied? and i've tried making everyone happy, i know that i haven't accomplished that to the extent. a few have told me i can't satisfy everyone, it's still my goal though and i don't care what people think of me. i'm not letting anyone judge me by what i do. it's me i need them to see. and that's what they should be checking out. not who i'm with, what i do, where i go, what i wear, what people have said about me (you know, the bullshit). yeah sorry guys. uh just had to say that..probably have said that before..but ya know..lol. and well, there's two more things. one thing..i'd rather not say anything about because it is mainly between me and the other person. but this thing where everyone finds is killing me. lesson for everyone, if i tell you something..DON'T GO AROUND TELLING PEOPLE! cause i trust a lot of people unfortunately. that's a mistake i make, and i admit it. i do tell people things that go on in my mind because i've realized it hurts when you can't tell people and it feels good to have thought that you can trust these people..even if i don't know them too well. but really, when everyone found out, questions were arising and i didn't like it. not that i'm trying to be selfish..i just don't like people questioning me about things..personal things..like that. and the other thing, my dear friend Aamir knows about. and fuck he better understand, or i will take my life. waiting for you to sign back on. let's see..school has been..interesting, nothing much new besides the fact that i can finally safely return to PE. um everything else is lame lol. uh khane is pretty good..i like going and actually praying..it's kinda getting to me more now (i don't care what you're thinking right now) but the waez..the fifteen minute thing..i'm going to try that..take some time out of my day and devote it to my faith. um, someone's starting to get on my nerves..and i'll just stop on that. mission class was real boring today, noting that two of my best gay guy friends were not there. that's right they are gay for eachother and i am "in love" with a guy who likes to...nevermind i'll stop right there. so this person is still bugging me. umm..my burfday is coming up and ooh, me excited! about 15 people, movie..stuff like that cause family is over & house is full, so probably not a big sleepover which i was planning, but oh well. other than that, life is getting pretty dull. been having a lot of mood swings and a lot of thinking going on, and in need of a lot of hugs. so maybe next time you see me,
hug me.
you never know when i'm having one of those days.
drenched in my pain again..
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FUCKING FRIENDS SO FUCKING MUCH <3
Meeting EVERYONE..AMAZING! I should definitely update more on that later, but WOW! can't stop with the goofy smile on my face! I really don't care what people think of me anymore, AT ALL! And DAMN, does that feel GREAT! <3 pyMpiNprEP69: damn fiza!! pyMpiNprEP69: U SPLET MY NAME RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pyMpiNprEP69: I LOVE YOU!! haha, what a dork! but yay! okay so..about my day, which was like i said before, AMAZING! Well, i had a shirt incident. AND THANK YOU AAMIR AND SHAHZAIN! god you guys are great! And I met Ibaaaaaad! And Asiiiiiiiif! ANd SO MANY NE PEOPLE! And of course all you HQ kids! AND DAMN DID SALIMA AND MY PJS LOOK EFFING HOT OR WHHHHAT!? hehe! oh and surf..I Love You!! aand tanvi, aleha, JEEZ EVERYONE, I FRICKIN' LOVE YOU! and everyone who couldn't make it, MISSED YA TONS! Leave the Love. | |
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